Here's the conclusion of yesterday's post...
"We control in the name of love. We do it because we're 'only trying to
help.' We do it because we know best how things should go and how
people should behave. We do it because we're right and they're wrong.
We control because we're afraid not to do it. We do it because we don't
know what else to do. We do it to stop the pain. We control because we
think we have to. We control because we don't think. We control because
controlling is all we can think about. Ultimately we may control
because that's the way we've always done things. Tyrannical and
dominating, some rule with an iron hand. . . . Others do their duty
behind a costume of sweetness and niceties, secretly going about their
business--other people's business."
Two of the keystone elements in all of this codependency is, according
to Beattie, "Suffering people's consequences for them" and "Solving
people's problems for them." In other words, there is a real quid pro
quo in cookie sharing, and it too is at least somewhat based on
My friend gave up her codependent behavior and threw all of her cookies
away. She chose to become self-empowered and has made wonderful strides
in the process. If you asked her, she would tell you life is a miracle,
and she is very happy today. Still, her sister, with whom she has
always been very close, has not budged. Her sister carries all the
cookies she can and spends nearly every moment sharing them. Despite
soft approaches at trying to turn on a light in the sister's head, my
friend now finds herself in that place where many who refuse to play
these games eventually arrive. It is hard to change when those you love
the most are fixed in ways that steal your power. My friend has decided
that the next time her sister plays the blame game, she will say
something to end this behavior. You see, when you stop saving your
cookies and get on with taking responsibility for everything in your
life, your life improves. When that happens, you lose any and all
desire to be a cookie keeper."
Once again, if you want to find out more about Eldon Taylor go here:
and for some Free subliminal audios go here:
Totally fascinating stuff!
If you like this you'll probably like my other blog: